The Importance of Seeking to Further Your Husband's Vision

As a baby Christian, who was newly married, I was not taught this. I was not taught about being "one: with my husband as I should have been. Instead, we were taught how to grow in our own walks with the Lord. And that if we were to do this, then we would grow closer together as husband and wife. And while I still do believe there is truth to this, I am also sure that to teach this without teaching a wife to become one with her husband in everything, is a set up for disappointment and discouragement for her.

As a young wife, young as in barely married, I fell into the expectations that the world places on marriage, And as a result, I was never satisfied with anything my husband did. Because he did not do it in the way I had expected him to. He would come home from work to another job so to speak. Another list of duties and demands to be met. Poor guy. He is a good man for putting up with me in the beginning. ;)

Divorce was never an option for us, so we just toughed it out through the rough times.

I, by nature, am very good at being organized and being able to plan just about anything. My husband was not. Here is the scary thing. Many wives are good at the very same things! And many husbands are not. So the world would have us think that we are to hone our gifts and talents and run with them...right?

I believe the answer to this is no and yes.

NO. In the sense that once we as wives, being to "lead" with our abilities to plan and devise immaculate plans for our families, our husbands see that it is already being done. So he will leave that up to us. Then we fall into discouragement because he is not leading.

YES. In that when we seek to follow our husband's vision, we are constantly seeking and asking for what we can do to be a helpmeet to him. and this is where our natural abilities come into practice. This is where they truly become God's tool for helping our husbands rather than leading our husbands.

What is your husbands vision???

When I first learned about vision, I was so excited! For I had great vision to see our family do things. But when my husband did not, I crippled him with my relentless nagging and questioning. It was not a pretty time for us. Until the Lord taught me about the importance of keeping my sweet little mouth, with all my "good" ideas shut.

You see, all of our husbands have vision. All you are required to do is look. Pray. And ask the Lord to show you. He will send the Holy Spirit to open your eyes and show you. And a vision is a vision no matter how small. As the Bible says, do not despise small beginnings.

Do not despise these small beginnings, for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin, to see the plumb line in Zerubbabel's hand." -Zechariah 4:10

Most men in our society were not raised to be men of vision. They were not raised to lead a family. But by the grace of God, we are able to experience this in our own marriages by gleaning from scripture and by learning how to be a virtuous wife.

A virtuous woman who can find? for her price is far above rubies. -Proverbs 31:10

Your husband's vision may be to lose weight. Or to cut the grass on Saturday. Or it may be becoming debt free. Do not doubt your husband if his vision is not spiritual. When you begin to operate in being a helper to your husband's current vision, the Lord will fill him with a fresh vision from HIM for your whole family!!!

#1 Never become a helper for your husband to see him change. This is a sacrifice and worship to the Lord. We do this because we trust the Lord. Not because our husbands will be become what we want when we change. This is manipulation!!! And will not be honoring to God.

#2 If you don't have anything nice to say BE QUIET!!!! Our husbands only have so much "room" in their brains. They are already coming home with the "junk" from work everyday. We need to prepare a quiet place for them to come home to. and our nagging will only help to fill up any space that the Lord would otherwise use to speak to him. Bite your tongue ANYTIME you feel like complaining, and instead find something to encourage your husband in.

#3 Always ask. If your husband is not openly coming and saying "this is what I want done". ASK him. And then do what he says with a happy heart!

#4 See that the unity in your marriage is more important than being right. If our marriage is an example of Christ and the church, then it is only for our own protection that we seek to be one with our husbands.

#5 Do not deny him physically.

Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. -1 Corinthians 7:5

Again, this is an area that we are taught in the world, and sadly, even in church that we can only consent when we feel like it. This is a ministry to our husbands! A need! Yes, we may not understand it, but God created them like this! This is one area that a wife is responsible to her husband. It provides a protective barrier against the attacks of the enemy. This is such a powerful way to minister to our husbands.

#6 Do your part and trust God for the rest, Only god knows when our husbands will do certain things. We must not become weary when our time limits are not met. For God wants their souls more than our own satisfaction. He wants the convictions our husbands hold, or the vision he carries to be something birthed from him, not from us. Seek to worship the Lord in all you do to become a helper to your husband and trust God to show you the harvest!